Once again the world feels sadness and disbelief this week with the most recent events with the shooting of young singer Christina Grimmie and then the shooting in Orlando. Once again I sit in the quiet and wonder what is happening to the world. There are more people than ever who are trying to live more mindful, heart-centered lives and yet it seems that terrorism is at an all-time high. This drastic polarity has me puzzled and I feel my fear bubbling to the surface thinking about how fragile human life is, how this living, breathing body of mine can be extinguished in seconds.
When I was younger and felt more invincible, thoughts like this never crossed my mind. I believed I’d live forever! But now, I wonder if children still feel that way. Or have the changes in the world brought changes in how our children see life?
I confess this has been on my mind a LOT lately. The justice-seeker in me rails against innocent people being slain for their desire to love who they want, find peace in the world, live happy lives and thrive. My thoughts will tell me this is a cruel world, one that cannot be saved from such angry attacks. My thoughts tell me that it isn’t even safe to leave the house anymore because you never know when someone might strike. My thoughts tell me there is not use in trying to teach peace because it doesn’t seem to change anything. My thoughts get carried away, try to bring me down, take me into fear, sadness and doubt. I don’t want to listen to those thoughts.
But beyond the thoughts there is the real me, the one who is filled with knowingness, that can let go of the thoughts, that can find the beauty in all things – ALL THINGS – yes, even in the person who is suffering so much that they commit such horrible acts, take lives with such seeming ease. They suffer in their humanness just as we suffer sometimes. Their suffering has no Loving Presence to remind them of who they are. They are out of touch with that part of themselves that sees the beauty, peace, love and kindness of human nature.
This only strengthens my resolve to stay connected to my own Loving Presence as much as possible as often as I can because I know that it is the only way to really live without fear and judgment. I want to see beauty, to comfort those who suffer, to teach the truth to those that desire that ability to let go of the illusion that holds them in the heaviness of human suffering.
I’m not perfect, I have my moments, days and yes, even sometimes weeks when I have forgotten who I am and fall out of the divine state of grace. But more and more I am working at have less of those times and instead understanding what others might be going through, of letting go of blame and the need to be right, finding compassion for myself and as a result for others as well. To remember that when someone lashes out they aren’t attacking me, but expressing their pain in the only way they know how.
And I hope and pray that it will be enough. Enough to heal myself. Enough to heal my family, my town, my country, and little by little to heal the world. As one person, I can only change myself, find my own peace and know the love that is there for me. And as that pebble is dropped into the ocean of humanity, let that love be felt.
Let peace and love be here on earth and let it begin with me.
With love and kindness